You're so nebulous sometimes
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
