Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
