We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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