We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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