Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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