alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
