it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
