Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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