oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
