she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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