I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize