chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Boobs speak an international language.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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