I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
even my farts smell like vagina
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
