Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
