I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
