i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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