I don't think we should have started that trash fire
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize