i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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