I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You're earring is so big in my mouth
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
