marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
