and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We were destined to go to rehab together
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
