Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
