i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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