Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
