shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's never too late to be topless.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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