Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Randomize
