I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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