either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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