where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Buhtt sex?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
