blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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