I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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