i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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