Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
