Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
