Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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