i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
