i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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