that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
