So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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