The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
