I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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