Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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