My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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