Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
they're like a gay fantastic four
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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