Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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