Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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