sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
