the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
