I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just want nice things and good sex
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
