ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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