Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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