let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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