you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I love you.
Bad choice
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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