let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
