Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize