So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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