I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
