I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
