john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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