The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
