apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
