bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
