Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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