Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need to calm my uterus...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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