So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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