I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
